Lady Talks | The Importance of Saying No

Inspiration, Quotes

Our words are of utmost importance for the maintenance of our interpersonal relationships – keeping your word is the most direct and immediate way of cementing credibility. We have all heard someone say they will do something which never gets done – and also been the culprit at some point.

Making too many promises (especially those we can’t keep), letting our feelings step in the way of being sincere, and saying we will do small things we end up not doing – I believe we’ve all been there at some point, and the most frequent excuse to not getting things done is that “they’re only the small things”. Which makes you think… who will trust you with the larger things if even the small don’t get done?

Why do we do that? Is it an attempt to control what others feel about us, of avoiding their disappointment – even if we have no interest in concluding what was asked of us? Do we say yes thinking we can actually do it, then give up halfway through?

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.” – Steve Jobs

When someone disappoints us a number of times, our trust in that person is severely undermined – their word becomes something to be questioned rather than taken to heart. Since relationships need trust to flourish and prosper, this type of behavior can be very taxing for those who want to be taken seriously and respected. When we are promised something we don’t get, we can feel manipulated and disappointed; which becomes even more troublesome when it is perceived as the rule, rather than the exception.

What does your word represent? Is it taken lightly? You should treat your word as you wish it to be taken by others: with respect, integrity and seriousness. It should be a bond of trust. People might not always like to hear “no”, but they will respect that you rationalized and calculated that you were either incapable or unwilling to execute a given task. This will lead to a higher valuing of your “yes”, since you’ve demonstrated it isn’t freely given. The act shows not only your strength and conviction in saying no,  but also the calculation of your capacity and willingness to say yes.

An incredibly easy way to lose credibility is to say yes to something and not make it happen. The next time you are requested something by the same person, your reply will be taken with less conviction and seriousness. That’s why it’s important to keep up with “the small things”, first – that way, you build a history of credibility with the person to pave your way into being entrusted with larger, more important tasks.

To conquer trust and respect, your “yes” should mean yes, and your “no” should mean no. Any sensation that leads you to reluctantly agree with something that you really don’t should be controlled – it is an obstacle in your path to maintaining yourself a trustworthy, transparent and frank person.

 

Photo by Andy Tootell on Unsplash

Lady Talks | Monday Inspiration

Inspiration, Quotes

I’ve recently gotten into the habit of reading inspirational and motivational quotes to get myself pumped up for particularly busy or intense days – and as it happens, this week will be filled with them.  I’ve mourned my weekend’s untimely end, then written this post in the hopes that it will get you as motivated as it did me, so here are some quotes and photos to help get you through the day, and ready for the rest of the week.

will-van-wingerden-87463.jpg“It always seems impossible until it’s done” – Nelson Mandela

I’ve been confronted with this feeling one too many times – looking into the horizon and seeing nothing but hurdles. Fortunately, it is often succeeded by a flush of relief which comes with crossing the finish line. As impossible as some tasks may seem, they depend only on your perseverance and hard work to come to fruition.

“Either you run the day or the day runs you” – Jim Rohn

Many of us have had days in which we just go through the motions until the day is over – and to me, that feels so much worse than talking myself into setting goals for the day, and getting them done. When we don’t know what we want, we can end up with a lot that we don’t.

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started” – Mark Twain

Dreaming provides us with the goal we desire to achieve – but an act, as small and slow as it might be, will turn a dream into a possibility.

132.jpeg“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence” – Helen Keller

I really love this quote. It always reminds me that as complicated as achieving a goal can seem, the most important element is an exercise of self-love and confidence which begins inside of us and is entirely within our own control.

 

“Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is best” – St. Jerome

Whoever you are, whatever you do; self-improvement will inevitably be one of the most powerful tools you can use to improve the quality of your life. Diligence, focus and persistence are important qualities in becoming the best version of yourself there can be – being the best is a never ending mission.

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self” – Aldous Huxley

Huxley is one of my favourite authors, and this is one of my favourite quotes of his. Change has to come from within – a positive change within ourselves can be the spark that ignites our will and capability to change the world around us for the better.

133.jpg“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines” – Robert H. Schuller

Turning problems into challenges makes them a valuable source of learning material. Analyzing the challenge and trying to find ways to overcome it means you have turned a wall into a hurdle and refused to let it stop you.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do with it” – Charles R. Swindoll

Our mindsets, attitudes and behaviors can completely transform our lives and the facts which affect us – for better or for worse. They are able to make or break everything we build, even being able to change our perception of inevitable facts or events. Attitude is a matter of choice – make it count!

“What you do today can improve all of your tomorrows” – Ralph Marston

To me, this statement encompasses all the elements of the post: self-improvement, confidence, diligence, attitude, inspiration and motivation. The habits of today create the rewards of tomorrow – we plant what we sow, so it is very important to put in effort in what we do to create an abundant harvest in all of our tomorrows.

Happy monday! I wish you all a lovely week!